You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
