come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize