You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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