I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
