he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
