I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
