Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
