She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
