strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
