There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
