i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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