you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
