Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize