There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
