You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
