pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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