Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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