Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
