but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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