she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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