T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
