went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
