You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
