"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
