I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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