She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
