you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
