do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
