You really coming over, don't trick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
