Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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