the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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