then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
