it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm having to shit out rocks
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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