there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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