This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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