Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
