I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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