I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
