i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
