i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
