I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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