Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
