pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
