I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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