I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
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