I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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