I hate all girls vehemently.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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