She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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