Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
