...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
