I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
