I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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