I cannot find my penis.
4 words: hood of his car
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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