I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
