Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize