white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
