FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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