you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
