i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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