piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
