You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
