my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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